"Crazy"

I was doing some light sparring in class and as we were getting kinda tired and juiced at the same time the Sifu that was monitoring us said something like "now your getting crazy, your in that zone..go with it..". He was SO right. I have been on the brink of feeling that before and usually I pull back becasue it's a little scary feeling. It's like you feel high and really ready for action and very powerful. However,it's also a space of feelign out of control and I get a little worried about how violent I could get. It was cool to hear someone call it , name it. Name that feeling ya know? Now I know it's a place boxers are in sometimes. Probabaly alot in the actual ring. I think it's neat space to be. Probably a great place to learn control of your mind.

Gearing up for Double Threat

I just now FINALLY started back at the boxing gym. It was REALLY REALLY hard to do. It was like returning to a place of I have felt failure. It seems to be yet one of the many htigns I start and never finish. At least in this case I can;t regret all that working out I did. It's just that I really wanted to fight and I went through so much anxiety about it and stuff....

It's been well over 7 months since I have been to the school. I have not even been back since I moved back here from New York.

Anyways- I am glad I went. It felt good. A bit awkward, but good. It was announced in class today that our gym is hosting a fight on May 8th, 2010 at Rocopolco's Latin dance club and that ALL students are required to partticipate... unless you are especially excused.

Once, again- my heart started racing. The excitement and determination started flowing. WTF? I have BEEEEEN down this road before and I came very close to the conclusion that I am not made for fighting.

But part of me got caught up with the fantasy again...maybe I should just fucking do it ? Or just train like I am going to and if I get in then I get in.

So I picked up the registration form and folded it many times and placed in my pocket like a sacred secret . Over that next week, I would pull it out many times and stare at it looking for the answer. It became a daily ritual.

After that first week I gto so caught up in the actual training that I forgto to even registr on time.I think part of me was also secretly dreading it and not ready. I have signed up for fights in the past and then not gone through with it.

more to come..

Boxing on the rooftops

I just moved into a fairly raw warehouse space and there is access to a giant backyard of rooftops where I can practice boxing routines on. It's gravel covered and I can whip around up here with complete privacy and loss of all self consciousness.

The south side is a constant whizzing of cars on the freeway pass. The droning sounds are calming and energizing as I whip through kicks, punches and blocks and undercuts.

There's a gorgeous backdrop of giant billboards and hills lit up with millions of twinkly lit residential lights. One of the billboards is a light up Coca Cola sign which is mesmerizing and oddly beautiful to watch. It's private, it's dark and I love it. My belts of short heavy breathing seems to match the rhythm of the city up here. I feel very in tune doing this.