Gearing up for Double Threat

I just now FINALLY started back at the boxing gym. It was REALLY REALLY hard to do. It was like returning to a place of I have felt failure. It seems to be yet one of the many htigns I start and never finish. At least in this case I can;t regret all that working out I did. It's just that I really wanted to fight and I went through so much anxiety about it and stuff....

It's been well over 7 months since I have been to the school. I have not even been back since I moved back here from New York.

Anyways- I am glad I went. It felt good. A bit awkward, but good. It was announced in class today that our gym is hosting a fight on May 8th, 2010 at Rocopolco's Latin dance club and that ALL students are required to partticipate... unless you are especially excused.

Once, again- my heart started racing. The excitement and determination started flowing. WTF? I have BEEEEEN down this road before and I came very close to the conclusion that I am not made for fighting.

But part of me got caught up with the fantasy again...maybe I should just fucking do it ? Or just train like I am going to and if I get in then I get in.

So I picked up the registration form and folded it many times and placed in my pocket like a sacred secret . Over that next week, I would pull it out many times and stare at it looking for the answer. It became a daily ritual.

After that first week I gto so caught up in the actual training that I forgto to even registr on time.I think part of me was also secretly dreading it and not ready. I have signed up for fights in the past and then not gone through with it.

more to come..